Well, well, well, here we are again! It’s the birthday edition, so what better way to celebrate than to dive headfirst into one of my all-time favourite rant-worthy topics: sustainable energy and EV cars. But, before we slip down that electrified rabbit hole, let’s kick things off with a mini-rant, just to get those taste buds tingling.
So, picture this: I decided to treat myself to some finger-lickin’ goodness yesterday—you know, the good ol’ Colonel’s finest. Now, there’s nothing groundbreaking about that; I’m pretty sure KFC is the closest thing to the fountain of youth. But here’s where things got a bit, shall we say, bizarre. As I approached the shop, I was met with a sight that can only be described as a dystopian parade of beaten-up Nissan Micras and mopeds, all festooned with oversized food boxes. It looked like a fast-food-themed episode of “Pimp My Ride” gone horribly wrong.
Inside, it was like a mini United Nations summit. Every accent you could imagine, all gathered in one greasy, fried-chicken-scented room. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was nice to see such diversity, but it got me thinking: when did we collectively decide that we’re so obscenely busy that we need to make our convenience food even more convenient by having it delivered right to our laps? What’s next, hiring a stranger to chew it for us too? At this rate, we’ll all be sipping our meals through straws from a distance, like some kind of bizarre, gastronomic telepathy.
Anyway, enough of that. Let’s get back to the main course of this rant—EV cars and sustainable energy, or as I like to call it, the ultimate exercise in technological optimism.
The other day, I found myself tailing a Belingo van, and for a fleeting moment, I thought, “Hey, that doesn’t look half bad!” The lease price was tempting too—until I remembered the tiny detail that it only had a range of 170 miles. Yes, you read that right, 170 miles! Now, one of my biggest fears, right up there with spiders and accidentally replying all on a company-wide email, is running out of juice in an EV. And I mean, can you blame me? Imagine needing to drive 400 miles in a day—something I occasionally have to do—and the thought of stopping for an hour to recharge not once, but twice, is enough to give me sleepless nights.
But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Initially, we were told that the world would be an EV utopia by 2025. Then they pushed it to 2030, because, well, reality tends to have that effect on ambitious plans. But here’s the real kicker: what about the infrastructure? At the moment, a measly 2.7% of cars on UK roads are EVs, and we’re already struggling with charging points. To hit the necessary targets, we’d need about 2 million new charging points per year, which sounds like a punchline from a bad joke, but it’s unfortunately true.
Now, if you’re lucky enough to live in a quaint little semi-detached house in the rural serenity of Romney Marsh, you’re golden. You can just hire one of those jolly electricians (who probably advertise in our lovely magazine, by the way) to install a shiny new high-amp car charging socket right on the side of your house. Easy peasy. But, according to the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, 60% of new EVs are being sold to city dwellers. And here’s the burning question: where the heck are they going to charge these things?
One old-school idea was to slap charging sockets onto lampposts, which, in theory, sounds genius. But then someone pointed out that most lampposts are on the inner side of pavements, creating a health and safety nightmare that even the most optimistic no-win-no-fee lawyers would salivate over. “Have you had an accident? Tripped over a charging cable on your way to work?” Yeah, you get the picture. And let’s not even talk about the strain on the local power network—EV charging is like a black hole for electricity.
Remember that ambitious EV charging rollout plan FHDC had about five years ago? You know, the one that was supposed to revolutionise how we power our cars? Well, those chargers are easy to spot. Just head to any public car park on a busy day, and look for the empty spaces—the ones with the chargers. Yep, those ones. The block of untouched, pristine EV chargers, just waiting for someone to care.
But let’s get to the real meat of the issue: where’s all this power going to come from? The UK’s demand for electricity is climbing at a rate of nearly 3% per year. And don’t even get me started on the windmills and solar farms that are popping up like daisies across the countryside. They look like something straight out of a Teletubby episode. Sure, they’re quirky and cute, but they’re never going to generate enough power to meet our growing needs. Wind turbines? Great—if it’s windy. Solar panels? Fantastic—if the sun shines 24/7, which, let’s face it, is never going to happen.
The only realistic solution, if we’re being brutally honest, is more nuclear power stations. Cue the collective gasp from the eco-warriors. Yes, nuclear has its drawbacks—spent fuel, for one—but compared to the alternative? It’s a no-brainer. Nuclear power doesn’t require perfect weather conditions, and it’s far more reliable. In Sweden, they’ve even figured out how to use the heat from spent nuclear fuel to warm homes and factories. Now that’s what I call efficient!
But here’s something that often gets overlooked: nuclear power doesn’t just generate electricity, it also generates much-needed employment. The construction of a nuclear power station is a colossal undertaking, creating thousands of jobs for engineers, builders, electricians, and countless other trades. And once the station is up and running, it continues to provide long-term employment for highly skilled workers who operate and maintain the facility. Contrast that with wind turbines and solar panels, which are often produced overseas—where the manufacturing jobs go too. Not only do we lose out on job creation, but these imported pieces of hardware also come with a hidden catch: what do we do with them when their operating life is up? The disposal of old wind turbines and solar panels is a growing environmental issue, with many components ending up in landfills. So while we’re being sold the dream of a green energy future, we’re conveniently ignoring the dirty aftermath.
But of course, someone will always bring up the old chestnut about how toxic nuclear waste is. I’ll never forget the time an ex-leader of the Folkestone and Hythe Green Party declared that all the spent fuel from the world’s nuclear reactors could fill a hole the size of the Royal Albert Hall! Really? Compared to the environmental disaster that is lithium mining, that’s nothing. And let’s not even touch the copper mine debate. To meet the global demand for copper to build all these batteries, we’d have to mine more copper in the next 30 years than we have since the Industrial Revolution!
So, there you have it. A full plate of food for thought, served piping hot, just for you. And hey, if you’ve got a counter-opinion, by all means, bring it on! But remember, I’ve been chewing on this for a decade, so if you’re going to argue, come armed with facts. Send your responses to info@looker.co.uk, and let’s keep the debate as lively as the drive-thru queue at KFC.