Ah, diesel engines. Remember when they were the golden boys of the automotive world? I mean, really, who comes up with these crazy ideas? Let’s take a trip down memory lane to a time when diesel was the knight in shining armour, the economic miracle that was going to save us all from the fiery pits of petrol hell.
Back in the good old days, about 40 years ago, I was told that driving a diesel car was the epitome of economic savvy. Sure, the initial cost of a diesel car was about 20% higher than a petrol one, but hey, the fuel was cheaper. So, we all jumped on the diesel bandwagon, thinking we were making a smart, long-term investment. Little did we know, we were merely pawns in a game concocted by the mysterious “powers that be.”
Fast forward a few decades, and suddenly diesel is the devil’s juice. The narrative flipped faster than a politician’s stance during election season. Diesel, once hailed as the economical choice, became public enemy number one. The tax on diesel skyrocketed, and now, instead of saving 15% every time we filled our tanks, we were paying 15% more. Oh, the irony!
I mean, honestly, it feels like we’ve been sold a bill of goods. Remember those spammy emails asking if you’ve been mis-sold a mortgage or protection policy? Well, where’s my email about being mis-sold on the virtues of diesel? I want to lodge a formal complaint! The betrayal is palpable. It’s like being told your whole life that Santa Claus is real, only to find out it’s your parents eating the mince pies carrots and drinking the milk.
And while we’re on the topic of driving, let’s dive into the world of parking. Ah, parking. A concept so simple yet rendered absurdly complex by bureaucratic geniuses. Let’s start with disabled parking spaces. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for accessibility. But here’s my point: if you’re driving and disabled, you likely have a blue badge, granting you the ability to park almost anywhere. So why, oh why, do we need an abundance of designated disabled parking spaces? It’s like opening a restaurant and reserving half the tables for people who might not even show up.
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more absurd, along come the emergency vehicle parking spaces. Yes, you heard that right. Special spots for emergency vehicles. If it’s an emergency, shouldn’t they be able to park anywhere? The whole point of an emergency is the urgency, not finding the perfect parking spot. Imagine calling 999 and hearing, “Sorry, we’ll be there in five minutes. We just need to find a designated parking spot.”
And have you noticed that when a car park is absolutely full, there are always four spaces reserved for electric charge points? They sit there, mocking us, pristine and empty, while we circle around like vultures looking for a place to land. It’s as if the parking gods are taunting us, saying, “If only you drove an electric car, you’d have a place to park.” Never mind that electric vehicles are still a minority on the roads – those precious charge points must remain untouched and unoccupied, a silent testament to the utopian future the bureaucrats envision.
Now, let’s talk about the future that the Green Party seems hell-bent on dragging us into. Their latest scheme? Parking meters across the entire district for all car drivers. Yes, soon, we’ll be feeding coins into a meter every time we want to park our cars. It’s not enough that we already pay through the nose for fuel and road taxes; now we have to pay just to stop our cars.
And if people need to pay to park in local high streets, how will they shop? This signals the beginning of the end for small independent shops, especially those with ‘artisan’ in the title. You know the sort of place – they sell you a loaf of bread probably bought at Waitrose for £1.40 and then sold for £4 because it is now “artisan” simply because the shop is painted up in pastel colours with expensive paints from Farrow & Ball. But the point is, they are killing local trade and in so doing will make more people unemployed. These local shops, while sometimes absurdly priced, are the lifeblood of our communities. By making it harder for people to park, we’re essentially signing their death warrant.
But where will this stop? If the Greeny’s gets their way, we’ll soon be forced to ditch our cars entirely. Picture this: a dystopian world where cars are forbidden, and we’re all mandated to ride bikes. That’s right, parking meters for bicycles everywhere. You’ll need to pay to park your bike at the supermarket, at work, even outside your own home. Forget about bike racks; we’re talking about fully metered bike parking spaces.
The Green vision for the future doesn’t stop at bikes, though. Oh no, they’re thinking ahead. Roller skates, skateboards, unicycles – all will need their own parking meters. We’ll be living in a world where even your kid’s tricycle will need a permit and a designated spot. It’s all part of their grand scheme to make urban living as convoluted and inconvenient as possible.
In this brave new world, walking might be the only free mode of transportation left. But don’t get too comfortable. I wouldn’t be surprised if they finds a way to monetise that too. Pedestrian toll booths, anyone? Every time you cross the street, you’ll need to swipe your pedestrian card. Stepping of the kerb to cross the street. fines will become a major source of council revenue.
So, here we are, living in a time when the simple act of driving a car or finding a parking spot has become a minefield of regulations and taxes. The diesel debacle and the parking madness are just symptoms of a larger disease: the relentless drive to overcomplicate and control every aspect of our lives. I, for one, long for the days when driving was about freedom and convenience, not navigating a bureaucratic labyrinth. Until then, I’ll keep ranting.